


Breathe

by Baked_Apple_Pie



Series: Destiel Panic Attack Prompts/Ideas [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little bit of asthma, Destiel - Freeform, I’m tired, M/M, Pain Attacks, Sort Of, fluff?, forgetting to breathe, idk - Freeform, possible trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baked_Apple_Pie/pseuds/Baked_Apple_Pie
Summary: Castiel can’t breathe.When he was an angel, this wouldn’t have been a startling revelation at all, but he is human now. And humans need to breathe.And Castiel can’t breathe.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel Panic Attack Prompts/Ideas [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000209
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, here’s this... thing. Idk man, I’m so sleep deprived that I’m not gonna even bother trying to talk

Castiel can’t breathe. 

When he was an angel, this wouldn’t have been a startling revelation at all, but he is human now. And humans need to breathe.

And Castiel can’t breathe,

He’s trying his best to draw air into his lungs, but it seems that he just… _can’t_. He can’t seem to calm down, either. 

It had come out of nowhere. Castiel had been wandering around in the bunker halls, just… thinking. About what he’s lost, what they’ve lost, what had been gained in the process. Still unused to the way his heart started to throb in his chest, and not understanding _why_ his hands shook, Cas was more than a little confused, and just a bit terrified.

And then… he had forgotten how to breathe. Now, this is more common than you would think for an angel of the lord, seeing as Cas didn’t even need to bother with troublesome activities such as breathing, but since becoming human, Cas has had trouble remembering how to inhale, then exhale, then inhale, and repeat the whole cycle.

But he’s still learning the difference between _forgetting_ to breathe and not being able to.

This time, it was unfortunately the latter.

His vision blurred, and everything became too discombobulating to make out. Stumbling to the closest wall, Cas slid to the floor, cradling his head and trying his hardest to gulp down air, but not succeeding. But throughout all of his confusion, One thing came to Cas, clear as day.

_I need to get to Dean._

Pushing himself off the wall, Cas made his way as quickly as possible down to the older Winchesters room before freezing mid-step, scolding himself.

 _No_.

Cas is a screw-up, Dean doesn’t need him to deal with, too. So instead of making his way to Dean’s room, Cas simply slid down the wall again, struggling to intake breath. 

Breathe. He ordered himself, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as possible, wheezing. Breathe, breathe, breathe breathe breathe! 

“I _can’t_!!” 

Cas screamed, hands over his ears, trying to block the incessant voices echoing within his head. He felt as if his vessel was going to explode, splatter into a million pieces, and Cas along with it. He was burning hot, so hot he was freezing cold, and worst of all, he can’t understand what’s _happening_.

Hands were on him now, and Cas wanted them _off_. They’re hot, blistering hot, and feel as if they are going to burn holes straight through him. And then a voice.

“Cas?!” His voice sounded aggravated, anxious, almost as if, heh, as if he cared.

Dean didn’t care. Dean never had cared.

“Cas!” The human's voice was close to panic now, which for some reason Cas found funny. “Cas, you've gotta breathe! You’ve gotta…” The voice continued talking, but Cas couldn’t make it what it was saying anymore. Dean’s hands were on his face now, burning what felt like blisters into his sensitive skin, but Cas didn’t care. 

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t… 

And the last thing Castiel heard before The world turned on its side and faded into nothingness, was the righteous man’s panicked scream.

“Cas!”

——————————

This wasn’t his bed. Cas wasn’t sure how he was so certain, but he just knew. He groaned slightly, head pounding, and turned slightly to the side, still gasping.

Oh, right, breathing.

As he struggled to bring air into his aching lungs, wheezing like… he didn’t know, something that wheezes a lot, he heard Dean’s voice again and whimpers.

“Cas! Oh, thank god, you weren’t breathing, I was able to get you to, but you wouldn’t stop shaking, and I didn’t know…” As he talked, Dean crossed over to the angel, reaching out to feel his forehead. Cas drew back, whimpering.

“No.” Dean froze, eyes wide and worried. 

“Cas?” 

“You don’t… you don’t… you don’t want—” As Cas struggled to form a sentence, something of understanding dawned in Dean’s eyes.

“Cas… sweetheart… we’ve been dating for months. It’s okay,” he said softly, looking worried.

“Until it’s not,” Cas said, voice barely above a whisper. Dean gently rested a hand on Cas’ forehead, waiting for permission to do anything else. After a few seconds, Cas made a strangled sound and gripped Dean’s forearm, still struggling to breathe.

The Winchester gently laid down beside him, placing a hand on Castiel's chest and taking one of Cas’ hands and placing it on his own. 

“Breath, Cas, you need to breathe.” The human exaggerated his breaths, prompting Castiel to copy him. After a few minutes of heavy breathing and coughing, Cas was able to breathe freely again, closing his eyes and gulping down as much air as he possibly could. After a few seconds, he opened his mouth and spoke.

“Sometimes… sometimes I forget to breathe.” He whispered hoarsely, cracking his eyes open to look at the righteous man. “And then… sometimes I-I can’t.” Dean nodded, worry alight in his bright green eyes.

“It’s okay.” He told his angel, rubbing a thumb over Castiel's cheekbone. “If you can’t remember, I’ll teach you, and if you just can’t, then I’ll help you until you can.” The love, the adoration, and care in the human's eyes were too much for Cas to bear.

The angel squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a rattling breath. “Sometimes, I’m just so freaking scared that you’re going to… leave. Go off, say that you never loved me to begin with. And—and it hurts. It hurts, Dean, and I can’t… I can’t…” Cas’ breaths were getting more frantic, and Dean hurriedly pressed his hand to his chest, exaggerating his breathing yet again. 

“Listen to me, Castiel,” Dean ordered as soon as the angel had calmed down. “I will never not love you. Never. Okay?” The light in Dean’s eyes was so bright and determined that Cas couldn’t help but believe his words, just a little bit. So, nodding slightly, Cas pressed his face into Dean’s neck, inhaling the scent of gunpowder and sweat.

“O-okay.” He murmured, going boneless as Dean ran a hand through his dark hair. Although Dean obviously could tell that Castiel didn’t completely believe him, the man decided to drop it, for now, running one hand through his angel's hair and the other up and down Cas’ back, murmuring to him softly. 

And although Cas still struggled with the thousands upon millions of weights on his shoulders, it was as if at least one had been lifted off his shoulders.

Because Castiel, an angel of the lord, truly believed that Dean Winchester wouldn’t let him forget to breathe.

And that thought alone helped Cas take deep, relaxing breaths once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to tell me what you think, and let me know any ideas for prompts you have!
> 
> -Apple


End file.
